Dude the Assistant

At the company I work for, we need to have polystyrene boxes to ship out our items. After months of searching we finally found a new vendor. Our old vendor decided to never email, call, or acknowledge the fact that we had placed an order with them, even after 3 months of attempts to get a hold of them by the girls in the office. When we finally did find someone new, a very difficult feat, they told us it would take about a month before delivery. In the meantime, we began to get very low on the inventory of these boxes.

One week before delivery we got a call from the vendor to let us know that they would be at our office in a week. One of the girls in the office reminded them that the driver needed to have a small truck because he would not be able to fit into the entrance of our complex. Also, they needed to have a lift gate due to the fact that we were receiving 8 pallets. They said, “Got it!”

The big day finally arrived. The driver called to alert us that he was on his way. The girl in the office wanted to be sure that the truck he was driving was small enough to fit into the entrance and the parking lot. The driver replied “I am driving a large truck. No one told me”. Yah-I knew that would happen.

About 30 minutes later the driver arrived. He parked his truck way out front and wanted to be sure he was in the right place before attempting the delivery. We assured him he was and he was thoroughly confused on why his hommies didn’t inform him of the restrictions of our complex. He also said that he was not informed that we were on the 3rd floor of the building and he could only get the pallets to the elevator because his contract said so. Really??

He then leaves and tries to maneuver his truck into the gate. While doing this he ends up blocking the entire street out front because he thought it was easier to back into the complex and leave driving forward than the other way around. I’ll give him that.

As he proceeds into the gate, he realizes that some guy has parked his Maserati right in the middle of the one lane in and out of the place. Homeboy was about ready to take it out! Awesome! He then has to go around and find out what dummy would park his “belle voiture” in such a dumb spot. He finally finds the guy who, of course, runs out to move his car and then proceeds to continue his way backing into the complex. Hommie did good. I was really proud of him. He actually made it through the gate with just inches to spare on both sides and backed in all the way to our building. He was even able to leave some space for other cars to get by since across the parking lot is hotel. The guest would not have been too happy if they couldn’t leave for their day’s outing.

As we watch him park and open his roll door, we notice that he doesn’t have a lift gate. What commercial truck the size of a ship doesn’t have a lift gate? He, Dude and I just stood there for a minute confused and wondering how things are always so messed up and full of nonsense here.

Well, end result, now he and Dude have to lift out and lower, by hand, all 8 pallets.

They start with the first one and when they get to the elevator we realize that it is too narrow and we can’t even fit the pallets in there. So I go and get a razor blade knife so we can down size the pallets and get rid of them. As Dude and hommie start bringing in the pallets one of them gets knocked over in the truck and an entire side of the boxes are now all black. Great, I can’t send them to my customers like that! Now what are we gonna do, wash all the boxes in the bathroom? Not to mention that some of the lids broke.

As the guys get about half way through, hommie looks like he is gonna die from all the strenuous work! He seriously looked like he had never done physical work in his life! He was sweating and wheezing something awful. By the end he was in the bathroom practically taking a shower to feel better.

Once the 8 pallets were in the entry way, we had to get really busy breaking them apart because, guess what? It is now lunch time and the mad dash to leave the building is on. Lesson-do not mess with French people and lunch. You will not win. People start coming out of the stairwell and elevator like there is no tomorrow and land right into an entry way full from floor to ceiling with boxes. Boy, the looks we got. What, no one has ever seen and entire area filled with boxes. Geesh!

So as we are trying to get around the lunch crowd and use the elevator both Dude and I are sweating like pigs. Now it’s only us two, cuz remember, hommie goes just to the elevator (his contract and all). It’s hot and humid and we are in a building that has no air condition. Thank goodness the Mistrals were blowing that day, cuz even though the wind was warm we still got a breeze every now and then!

As we are trying to break up the pallets Dude is getting in the elevator with as much boxes as possible to take up to our office to hand to one of the girls in the office to start stacking them in some sort of orderly fashion. Now the game of pass the buck and Tetris is on.

I am down on the ground floor doing disassembly then I hand off to Dude who takes the ride in the elevator with them, then hands them to the girl who stacks them up. We had a pretty good assembly line going there. All in all it took about 2 hours to just get some stupid boxes into the office. The whole thing should have taken 30 minutes!

Once all the boxes were in the office, it was time for clean up. We had wooden pallets to put in the garage, and all kinds of trash in the office from the wrapping around the boxes.

I have no idea what we would have done if Dude wasn’t the assistant helper for the day. Us girls would have had a heck of a time!  Now our boxes were all neatly stacked and I was really anxious to make an igloo or some kind of cool tunnel that we can go through when entering the office outta them. They were just stacked in the corner begging to be played with!

It would be hilarious to make all our couriers walk through a box tunnel before entering the office area! What a photo op 🙂 I am sure cute Fedex guy would do it. He has a great sense of humor.

For now, being the professional I am, the boxes are still in the corner. Every once in a while, I look over at them and want to play, though.

About backyardprovence

I was finally able to realized my dream of living in France when I moved here in 2010. I love to read,I love history and road trips. I want to be doing anything outside in the fresh air. I want to have an entire room devoted to a personal library.

Posted on July 12, 2011, in French Daily and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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