The Brangelina Stalkers
Remember back when I posted about the fresh fruit stand and I mentioned that we found it whilst on our way to stalking Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie?
Well, I seem to remember promising a story and here it is.
First off, I claim to have absolutely nothing to do with this stalking stuff, it was ALL Dude’s idea. Even though I’m in absolute love with Hugh Jackman and Anthony Hopkins and I’ve put Celine Dion in a category that no one else can ever get near, I will 100% guarantee that I have never stalked them! It’s not really my thing! So, on this particular outing it was complete guilt by association. Will that hold up in court?
It all started one day while reading the online news, Dude found out that Brad and Angie (yes-we’re on a first name basis) live within a distance of about 20 minutes from us (give or take). The day following this most awesome discovery in his opinion, happened to be a Saturday. Since Saturdays are our family road trip days (until we started the house renovation) he decided that it was going to be the day to find them and maybe get that all-so-much-coveted photo. You know, for bragging rights.
That morning he got up and started mapping out the day on how we were going to find their new chateau they happened to be leasing in the south of France for the next three years. Once he found that out, it was time to plug the coordinates into the GPS. We packed a lunch and were off.
We found the town closest to where they were located, but he was having a terrible time pin-pointing exactly where their place was. Could it be because it was surrounded by hills and trees and an electric fence?! He put in the GPS of where we were and it said we were getting close. Now all we had to do was fine the correct road (there were 3 potential ones) to take. Then, to our dismay, it started to drizzle. Oh great, now we were really gonna get noticed especially if we wanted to get out of the car and hunt around. All we had with us were bright green and blue umbrellas! Warning: Don’t call us to be your private detectives.
The first road we took led us farther away from their place according to the GPS so we turned around and headed back. The next road seemed to get us closer but it always looked like their place was way off the beaten path, which makes total sense. Why would they rent a chateau that just anyone could walk up to and knock on the front door? Duh!!
As we got closer (per the GPS) we started to drive slower so we could look over fences and gaze down long driveways and tree lined streets. I swear this really happened. A few times we even pulled over and double checked the GPS, got out of the car and took a look around. We just couldn’t find it.
By this time Tinki was even getting a bit interested so she Googled the info on the chateau and it seemed we were headed in the right direction so we just kept going. Since the road was a bit windy, the GPS would show us closer then farther away, then closer again. By this time I was about ready to say forget it since I was figuring the dang chateau was going to be under some crazy locked down security and not even visible by the street. Dude kept say, “Oh come on. We’re so close and maybe we’ll get to see them!” So we continued on.
Low and behold, we made it to a gate with a guard station and said to ourselves, “That’s it”! We pulled over to the side of the road. We took a look at the GPS and from where the guard station was situated and the angle of the road leading into the hills it was a perfect match.
Dude decided to turn the car around and what does he do?! He turns it around in the entrance before the guard gate! I never saw a gate keeper jump up so fast to see what was going on. At that moment, I so wanted to get out of the car and ask the guard, “I’m looking for Fight Club. Do you know where it is?” Then I remembered that the first rule of Fight Club is that you don’t talk about Fight Club, so I let it go.
By the look on the guard’s face as we were pulling up next to the gate, I got a bit worried and didn’t want to get arrested. Spending time in French prison for stalking stars is not something I really want to experience. We hightailed it outta there while Tinki waved ‘bye’ to the guard. Dude was like, “We totally found it. That’s it! I just know it!”
The funny part about this is that in the course of our day (we did travel around to see some sights) we ended up on the back side of Brad and Angie’s chateau and found a little dirt road that leads to another entrance. It just so happens that work is being done on it and the contractors had all kinds of signs up to tell the world about it. So much for keeping your celebrity existence quiet around these parts. So what does Dude end up doing? Stopping the car to check his GPS and by gosh we were right smack on the other side of the hill from where we were before near the guard gate. The reason you can’t see the dang place is because it is completely surrounded by hills, trees and vineyards. I believe that Brad and Angie chose an excellent location away from prying eyes and peeping Dudes.
Even though Dude didn’t get to see Brangelina, he seemed satisfied with the fact that he had actually scoped out their place and knew where it was. I also think he’s super proud of the fact that we live so close to them, too, cuz for a while after this he kept telling every body.
Excerpt from Conversations:
Inquiring Minds: “So where do you guys live?”
Dude: “In the south of France. In Provence.”
Inquiring Minds: “Really? That’s so cool! Where at?”
Dude: “Not far from Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Yup-they live, like, 20 minutes from us!”
I do admit that I think it is kind of cool and that Dude thinks so, too. I never would have guessed that he would have thought it was cool enough to go and try to find them, but whatever! After all these years of being married to the guy he still surprises me. Since that day, we haven’t been back to see if they’re home and if we might borrow some sugar or something. I think Dude was content enough to know he had found it. Although, every once in a while we see this crazy looking helicopter flying around our area and Dude always says, “Hey look! It’s Brad and Angie. They must be coming home”.
I’d like to put it out there that if Brad and Angie are reading this, please don’t call the cops on us, we really are harmless. Also, please don’t come after us yourselves, I’ve seen Tomb Raider and I know Angie can handle a gun real well and I’m not about to piss her off. Another thing, I did mention Fight Club so, yeah, I don’t want Brad after me, either. In case you two are feeling your normal giving selves, though, we would love for you guys to come on over with all your kids. You see we have this remodel we’re doing and we could use all the help we could get. With 6 kids, I think we could get it finished in no time!
Feel free to drop me a line either of you. Like I said, I’ve seen your movies and I know you two got moves and that’s exactly what we need to get our place in tip top shape 🙂